Internet dating sucks. I’ve heard a lot of men say this line to me, and it’s usually the guys who haven’t been on a date in months that say it. I understand that if you are not getting love online then the first thing to blame is the entire World Wide Web, but just like we can’t blame the entire chicken industry for a bad chicken leg at KFC, no we can blame the internet for our dating. afflictions. The fault lies with one person. YOU
Tinder IS the best dating app since … well, forever. My friends and I have never had so many dates in such a short amount of time with little to no effort. The great thing about Tinder is that it essentially allows you to “speed-date”, date a girl, joke around a bit, and get on a date. Yes, not all girls will say yes to your request for a romantic evening under the stars, but they are on Tinder for a reason, and if they have attacked you, then they are already considering meeting you. So without further ado, let me go over the five golden rules of Tinder so that you too can enjoy the benefits that Tinder brings to so many men.
1.) 5 good photos: Now guys, I’m NOT talking about mirror selfies or shirtless selfies. Delete them from your phone immediately. These would be great if you were on Grinder, but luckily for us males, the female of our species isn’t looking for a six-pack online. You can find that any day, anywhere. Photos should be clear, iPhone 6 at least, but I suggest a better camera than that. You need a face photo, a full body photo, a photo of you enjoying an activity and just showing how wonderful your life is. I also suggest that you don’t have pictures of yourself drunk and hanging out with some girls. Some guys put photos of them surrounded by girls in a nightclub. This just seems to be trying. Show yourself to some friends, in fancy situations, looking like a cool guy. End of story. Selfies are a big NO NO. Oh, and no photos of your … manhood, no matter how impressive you think it may be.
2.) The opening line: Okay, delete the following line from memory “Hey, how are you?” NEVER !!! Repeat this line. Do you realize how many matches a beautiful girl can get a day? And you’re starting with the most boring, generic, and mundane phrase of all time. Put yourself in girlish shoes for a moment. She has uploaded to Tinder. Probably because she’s bored and a little curious. Most girls will play it like a video game, with no intention of meeting anyone, so the only way to reach these girls is to MAKE IT FUN. Make it rhetorical and don’t ask questions. She can answer if she wants, if not, who cares. It has to be needless, careless, and seem like a simple expression of the wonder that radiates through you. These are some of my favorite first lines.
1. I feel from your witty and creative catchphrase that perhaps you could be missing a bit of magic and flavor in your day, so I offer you an opportunity to have your day enhanced by the presence of my genius.
2. (Insert name here) I think you have a confession to make …
3. I am currently trying on a variety of outfits for my costume party tonight. I’m thinking of Batman, but again, the redness from Superman’s underwear really makes my eyes pop.
4. Today I had the strangest day. I woke up thinking it was Saturday, but then quickly realized it was (insert day here). Fortunately, I am fast and got to work on time.
You can see that all these initial lines have something in common. They communicate that I don’t care, that I’m not taking this too seriously, that I’m a happy guy, that I’m making it fun, and that I’m probably a cool guy too.
3.) Quickly disconnect: The world of Tinder moves fast, just like the real world moves fast. Women are emotional creatures, and once they stop feeling, they start to forget. You might be awesome on Monday, but by Tuesday, you could be completely forgotten if you don’t keep fresh in his mind. That is why you must become a real person as fast as you can. Tinder should only be the method of meeting and opening. After that, you need to disconnect as quickly as possible. Get that phone number in 4-6 messages. Just make it fun, fun, fun, and then say the following sentence.
“Hey, I have to sneak out. I have lives to inspire. You sound like you’re not a creep or a stalker. I love it. Give me your number and maybe I’ll text you.”
4.) Get the first meeting fast: My advice is to get it for that night. But I understand that some people may have to work weeknights at night so you may have to wait a bit. But get it as fast as possible, and then once a day until the meeting send a funny message to keep it fresh in the girl’s mind. Remember, the woman follows her emotions, keep relaying it, and she will remember you, the moment you get bored, goodbye kind sir.
5.) Don’t bite off more than you can chew: This may be a quality issue. But once you have handled steps 1-4, this can become a problem. If you start matching too much and start talking to too many then you may start to get nothing. “The person who chases two rabbits does not catch or