Name, age, state, employer, hometown? Bartholomew Wilhelm Jones, 28, single, The Skateboard mag son !, Geneva, Illinois.
Lets start by the beginning. I want to know what it took to beget you. Tell me about your parents. What kind of people were they, what did they do, how did they conceive you?
Wow !! That’s deep. I do not know. I think my father was originally from Plainfield, Illinois, a bit like a cornfield town that is now very large. He went to a private Catholic school or something, but it’s not religious or anything, it keeps it real. And my mother is originally from Germany and she actually lived in Israel for a minute when she was also a child, but then I think times were tough there so her family got hooked on a boat trip to the states and started to live in St.. Louis, I think maybe … Moving on, dad went to college in St. Louis, met my mom, badda boom batta bing, got married and made me … I wonder if they were taking some kind of drug in that moment, because I’m pretty screwed up. My mom has had a lot of odd jobs over the years, from teaching school, to running an antique store, to working in real estate, and my dad used to run a chain of record stores called Apple Tree Records, which was a time. Amazing, because until I was 16 my dad could hook up any kind of music for free, plus free tickets to just about anything, I wish he still had that, but due to the likes of Best Buy, a circuit city, places like that; Apple Tree sank. I went with my family to all the stores to close them, which sucked, but I found a lot of products. Now my dad has a Play It Again sport, so my mom and dad go to auctions and yard sales and stock up on used sports equipment, so we used to have a lot of music around the house, but now it’s sport. team.
Let’s move on to your childhood. Some traumatic event that still haunts you today?
I don’t think anything from my childhood is still haunting me anyway but yeah sure … I’ve had a bunch of those … I almost blew our family’s new puppies back with a Draino bomb, my babysitter tried from having sex with me once, I don’t know, but yeah, I was definitely a messy kid, I still am.
What was your first encounter with skateboarding? When did you know that this was going to be a long-term relationship?
I probably don’t remember the first meeting, but I know I was very excited when I saw these guys skating on flat ground and ollieing over road barriers at this inner-city festival where I lived called “Swedish Days.” All the guys had like two different colored Airwalk shoes taped on, painter’s hats, all flared, I remember thinking “These guys are bad, that’s how I want to be!” Around the same time, I was always excited to be able to watch “Skate TV” on Nickelodeon. Obviously I had no idea about skateboarding, but it was super hyped nonetheless. I didn’t actually start skating until a few years after that, when a skating shop opened next to my house called Rich’s, which is fun to think about, because the place was a “ circus, but I was just skating around the store. and for me that was the worst thing that ever existed at that time.
The funny thing is, one of those guys I saw skating a long time ago at the festival is now my good friend Steve Davenport, he still skates, he still breaks! But yeah, I never really knew it was going to be a long-term relationship … I guess I never really got into anything else. When it comes to anything else relatively athletic, I’m full of goonbat panzy steez. I remember when some of the kids in high school were getting into other things like golf, cars, etc. I didn’t really understand it. I just remember thinking “don’t you want to go skating?” I went through a little phase when I was going to art school, in which I didn’t like skating very much, I didn’t know what was really going on, I didn’t watch the magazine or the new videos; at the time I was more interested in becoming a “fine artist”, but I guess I’m nice to that.
Being from Illinois, what do you think of Barack Obama?
Being totally fried, I don’t really pay much attention to that sort of thing, but I’m sure I’m in favor of Obama. I remember when he ran for senator or whatever in Illinois, and there were all these billboards with him, and I said to my dad “look at this guy who looks like a real pimp” and he said “that’s the man to be expected make him the first black president. ” Then in my photojournalism class, I was assigned to go take photos of Barack’s victory speech. Like any other fool, I was eating it; Obama just talks to things like that … I don’t even know! Being able, I guess, and then just looking at people so happy, it was just cool all over the place. And now it’s the same again, but the whole country. I’m sure I once lived in the same city as Obama. It’s a very exciting time, but what do I know …?