The other day I got an email from a neighbor asking me to buy a raffle ticket; It was a fundraiser for a major political party. I responded as follows:
Please remove me from any mail etc. that are related to ____________ (party name). Thank you.
Oh, by the way, I pressed reply to everyone. Now about 50 people knew my party affiliation, as if it was a shock.
His response to me was “that wasn’t very nice.”
Isn’t that very nice, I thought? She said please. She said thank you. It was specific about what kind of information I no longer wish to receive. I found it direct, clear and concise. What is he complaining about?
My response: “What wasn’t good about my answer? I don’t think it’s good for you to add me to an email list for all to see; and the
only the emails I get from you are politically motivated and ask for money.”
She responded with an apology (Sorry with an exclamation point) and asked if she was now going to be removed from the guest list for my “after-holiday party” every January.
From that exchange of words, I received two private emails from the original list applauding my response; and one scolds me for my behavior. So based on that random sample and my memory of statistics and higher math; two-thirds of the list agree with my position and hate receiving such emails. Or do three people need their opinion heard?
But I was excited by the thought-provoking comments that I could write about. So in my never-ending battle to get you to think from every angle, not just your own, here goes… ………..
- You might comment that it’s not a bad thing to throw a little bit of confusion every now and then just to keep people on their toes, stir the pot, stand out from the crowd, or get people thinking and participating. But I know you’re already standing out from the crowd. I know you have created waves in your industry or organization. People know who you are. Correct? Let’s face it, being the “Golden Boy” is fun, but being the “Bad Boy” has its benefits too!
- You could comment on how email communication can often make people angry or mad at you when they don’t really know you. Let’s be honest; no doubt some of you reading this were thinking that the scenario was going to play out differently. I know you were thinking that I was going to criticize her for exposing my email address to the world. I have more important things to worry about; so instead I had a bit of fun with my answer. And who knows, my email address has my domain name, which could lead someone to my website; which may result in them passing my name to a meeting planner or purchasing a product from my store? Perhaps having your email address visible is free marketing?
- I could comment that maybe she didn’t know she was playing and maybe she was upset that I replied to everyone on the list and maybe she really is worried that she’s off the guest list.
- I could comment on the fact that most people don’t reach out when things are bothering them, but instead have little one-on-one sessions about you with co-workers, friends, and family. Shame on those people.
- I could comment on the fact that when people say things, even when they’re playful or funny, there’s probably a grain of truth behind the zing.
- You might comment that all three responses could have been other people playing the game. Or maybe I hit a nerve?
So what comments make you think? More importantly, which of those comments might make you look at your relationships and interactions with people and maybe lead you to react differently in your personal or professional life? Take a moment today to stop and pay attention to the people who are interacting with each other; especially when a conversation takes an awkward turn. Was it really meant to get awkward or was it open to interpretation?
So I know you’re wondering if she’s off the list.
Of course not! She knew that she was just trying to create a stir and be playful. She knew that her first response to me was for her to move on; That’s why I call her a friend of hers. As for the other three, I guess I’ll have to re-read the previous points and decide.
He sent me one of those “if you don’t pass this on to ninety-six of your closest friends, you will die a horrible death” emails yesterday. I pressed delete. At least he wasn’t asking for money.