Is your brain working but you’re not getting anywhere?
Right now, are you either laughing and nodding your head or completely offended.
~ If you’re the first, keep reading, I have an ‘a-ha’ for you!
~ If you’re the last one, well, what can I say, I’m sorry I offended you, but we’re all adults here. I never thought I’d be writing something with the word masturbation either.
I don’t remember the first time I used this term, but I actually thought I made it up. It perfectly describes a state I used to get into (and still do sometimes) with friends where we spent ridiculous amounts of time analyzing ourselves and our thought patterns and trying to ‘figure out our lives’, hoping to have a great revelation that resolves everything.
So, as I sat down to write this article (the title popped into my head yesterday while consulting a private client), I googled “mental masturbation” and guess what~ it’s in the Urban Dictionary!
There are about 10 definitions, but this is the perfect one for the purposes of this article: (for more fun, read the other definitions, especially the sample conversations)
Mind Masturbation “The act of engaging in pointless but intellectually stimulating conversation, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”
Here’s the part that’s really interesting to me “usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action in your life.”
That was the revelation I had a few years ago. I would spend hours on the phone with friends, talking about different ideas for our businesses, projects that really appealed to us, and things that we hated. We shared quotes from books we were reading, insights gained from gurus, and gained insights into what was holding each of us back in our businesses and lives.
I finally hit ‘end call’, hundreds of minutes later, my ear burning red and hot, I let out a deep, exhausted but delightfully satisfied ‘ahhhhhh’ and thought, “That was great, I’m so excited about all these new ideas and I don’t I can wait to get started on them.”
By this time, my husband was walking in the door or it was time to pick up the kids from school, my ‘day’s work’ was over and what had I really accomplished?
Any. No zero. Zippo.
That’s how it is. I spent countless hours having these amazing and intellectually stimulating conversations, but I didn’t take much action. Mind masturbation.
Here is my theory:
We’ve become addicted to “aha!” moment. When the light bulb goes out while we’re sitting through a seminar, listening to an audio program, or reading a new book, it’s like an orgasm! It feels so great! We have discovered it, the missing link, the nugget of knowledge that will make everything fall into place, our lives will have meaning, the world will finally recognize our greatness, and our bank account will triple. Ahhhhhhh, that feels good.
When we put down the book, go back to our office, or try to get back to work, you feel bored. We don’t feel that same energy, the high is gone. So we go in search of the next ‘a-ha’ moment, the next intellectual orgasm.
You can get out of this cycle. You can stop sabotaging yourself when you realize that it’s just your brain, busy doing things like a monkey’s mind, that keeps you searching for the next height.
I would like to make a distinction here: let’s differentiate Masterminding, which is an amazing tool to increase your results and add fuel to your business and life, from mind masturbation. You know you’re addicted to intellectual euphoria if you have lots of great, thought-provoking conversations, but your business isn’t growing or your life seems strangely unsatisfying.
This is what you need to do:
If you can connect with the ideas and projects in front of you today, create your own urgency and excitement instead of waiting for your brain to fire up, if you can fire up with your life and business right now.
That’s when you’ll find your magical G-spot. (G= Greatness, Beautiful and Grateful)
Next time, I have some tips for you on how to break your mental masturbation addiction, stop avoiding taking constructive action and get fired up in your business and in your life. Grrrrrrrrrr, baby!
~Have a fabulous weekend, Dahhhhlings~