“Unknowingly or too scared to see what else was possible, I clung to our marriage for dear life until I realized I didn’t have to just survive. I had a choice: deal with my demons and dresses or live part time.” “. life in disguise One by one I shed my dresses… the power of acceptance washed over me, and I was on a mission to change my course.”
-Jo Dibblee, off dress; live without disguise
For me, reading Jo Dibblee’s memoirs, off dress; live without disguiseit was like reading the glass castle by Jeanette Walls. Both books were a real eye-opener in terms of what some children have to put up with at the hands of their own parents…and yet, despite such a rocky start, they manage to get their lives back on track.
With parents racked with secrets, guilt, and shame, as a child, Jo Dibblee quickly learned how to protect herself. Confronted with alcoholism, drug abuse, and depression from her parents, along with sexual assault and stalking from a foster parent, Jo began using a coping strategy she later called “frocking”—hiding her true self under layers of “skirts”. .”
With humor and hope, Jo shares the harrowing rollercoaster ride of her life story, detailing wearing the dress: how she learned it and used it to survive, how she found it was holding her back, and what she needed to do, once and for all. for all. for everyone, to remove those dresses.
Despite the harsh truths, brushes with death, and agonizing betrayals, Jo’s heart shines through the pages of her memoir, offering promise, wisdom, and inspiration to any reader who has learned to hide and longs to be free.
Although I personally haven’t been in a position to feel the need to hide, Jo’s story inspired me. It seemed to me a miracle that Jo physically survived her incredible childhood, much less learned to thrive in the way that she has. But she has thrived…and she continues to be an inspiration to many, both because of who she is and what she does.
I first came across Jo in 2008, when she was speaking at a women’s networking event. Then we went our separate ways. Eight years later, our paths crossed again at a different event in a different city, and I was shocked to hear Jo’s story. I immediately ordered the book from her.
Despite all that has happened -or perhaps because everything that has happened – Jo is unstoppable in her commitment to empower women to reach their full potential.
“Frock-off” means shedding whatever is holding us back in life. Our “dresses” may be the lies we tell ourselves, or they may be the truths from our past that no longer serve us. Our dresses can be our stories, our excuses, our shame, our habits, our coping mechanisms, our fears, our circumstances, our limiting beliefs.
You name it, there are probably one or two dresses in most of our closets that should probably get the pull. There certainly is in mine…and reading Jo’s memoir was an important reminder that it’s not what happens to us in life that matters as much as how we choose to respond. Because it is always a choice to keep or throw away what we no longer need.