About two years ago, our oldest son was diagnosed with autism. Not knowing for sure but suspecting, my husband tried for about a year to prepare me for the possibility that our son was autistic. He read and researched a lot about autism spectrum disorder. As a teacher, I rejected the diagnosis because I was afraid to label it. Since I was late too, I thought I just needed a little more time to learn to walk and talk, but as time went on, I started to have my own worries.
During the summer of 2003, I have noticed some negative comments about my son’s behavior from people at the park or pool. One mother even approached me about the possibility of autism. At first, I rejected this possibility but since then, the idea of Autism began to eat me alive. After all, I knew very little about autism, but just thinking about it sounded like a prison sentence.
Was it possible that my son’s lack of speech was not related to shyness but to Autism? What kind of future would my baby have? What did I do for him to possibly be affected by this disorder? Did I do something wrong during my pregnancy? As time passed, the questions drowned my mind to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore.
For my son’s sake, I needed the help of specialist doctors to find out why my son has never said the word “Mommy” to me yet. Either way, I needed to know what was going on and how to help him and make him happy, no matter what the diagnosis was. I owed my son a lot.
As he had his yearly check-up with our GP, I shared my husband’s and my concerns with him. Within a few weeks we received an extensive and detailed questionnaire about behavior, weaknesses, habits, etc. of our son. Then, a month later, we got the appointment. From that moment on, both my husband Kevin and I were on an eternal roller coaster ride until that day, not knowing what to expect, how to deal with it, and most importantly, how it would affect our son’s life.
On December 17, 2003 I went to the appointment with my son as Kevin was taking care of our little daughter at home. Both my mind and my emotions were a mess. What would this autism specialist tell me? How would he test it? When would I know the results of the tests and observations of him? Little did I know that on this day, both my son’s life and that of my family would change forever. After a series of tests and observations, conducted through play while being watched by other medical staff and counselors, the doctor shared the results: “Mrs. Leochko, your child has autism.”
My first reaction was to burst into tears. What had I done to cause my son to be affected by this disorder? The only thing he knew about autism was that children live in their own world, losing touch with reality, and also, like most people, he had seen the movie. Was my son a little “Rain Man”?
Realizing that I needed to know more about this disorder, my next question was, “What is autism?” This question was followed by: “What can we do to help my son?” and “What are the services that can be put in place for him and how do we proceed?” Like any parent recently struck by this diagnosis, several questions followed, as well as a barrage of answers that were not as assimilated as desired, as my mind raced.
The next step was to inform my husband. He wasn’t surprised and he was much calmer than me. He comforted me and asked me to watch our son as he played, he had fun and laughed out loud. He made me realize that we could help our son and that our main goal was to ensure his happiness. On December 22, 2003, two ladies came to meet us to kick things off and get services up and running for Dasan as soon as possible. As they explained to us, early intervention is crucial as it gives our son better chances in life.
Over time, services slowly but surely established themselves. Little did we know that our one-year-old daughter would also be referred and a year later, also diagnosed with autism. Kaylee is further up the spectrum due to her milder level of autism, while our son Dasan ranges from moderate to severe. She made us realize the difference in the spectrum. In a way, Dasan’s diagnosis helps us identify our daughter’s Autism at an earlier age: two years. In this way, the services have been implemented even earlier, giving you better chances of progression and a better quality of life.
Since our son’s diagnosis, I must say that both my husband and I have learned a lot about Autism Spectrum Disorder also known as ASD. As parents of autistic children, we not only learned, but decided to share this valuable information with other parents, family members, teachers, or others involved with individuals affected by autistic disorder. How did we do that? By researching information, ideas and also by using our own experience, ups and downs and tips on blogs and websites.
We’re not experts and we certainly don’t have any medical degrees, but as parents who have lived with autism 24/7, we thought that at the beginning of this “adventure” all we knew and felt was: ” Children in their own world, parents in the dark…” and now we see the light as there is one for everyone.
Autism is a disorder and it affects our dealings with people with a different perception of life, but let me tell you that this does not change the fact that our children are special in more than one way and that we not only love them as they are, but also We wouldn’t trade them for the world. The best gifts we can give them are: love, patience, understanding, support and all the resources and services that can make a difference in their lives.