One of the problems with trying to connect with people online is getting their attention. There is a lot of competition and the cougars are selective. They know what they want, which also means they know what they don’t want. If older men are no longer inspiring, don’t follow in their footsteps. Cougars are looking for fun, excitement and someone who reflects that on their profile will get responses.
When I read the profiles here and on other dating sites, I start to feel like I’m seeing repetitive scenes from the movie Ground Hog Day; you know … the one with Bill Murray where every morning when he wakes up the day is exactly like the day before.
Each profile begins to look and sound the same. Everyone is confused with each other. I read. I click on the following. I read. I click on the following. If there’s nothing on the first line that catches me, I click DELETE and go to the next one.
Did you read what I just said? IF THERE IS NOTHING ON THE FIRST LINE GETTING A WOMAN’S ATTENTION, THERE WILL BE CLICKING DELETE.
People are busy. We only have a limited time to do so many things on any given day. If you’re unlucky with your online profile answers, take some helpful tips and do a profile makeover. What can you lose? Oh yeah … another lonely Saturday night …
Here we go:
1) Read a lot of profiles of both men and women.
See which ones get your attention and why. Take some notes. Take a close look at the first line. That’s your “signature” line that tells people why they should bother reading the rest of your profile. When you read the profiles of the women, you begin to understand what they are looking for and what kind of language they speak.
2) Don’t put yourself down.
Don’t say, “Well, it’s just me” or “Wow. I never know what to write about these things” or “Ask me if you want to know more.” It makes you look weak, lame, and like you have a lot of insecurity issues. It also makes you seem like you don’t know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, why should anyone be interested? If you are online, you are already in a public place. So don’t hide who you are and then wait for someone to “recognize” how special you are through magical telepathy and call you to find out more.
Instead, write something that plays on your personal strength. “A handsome young man with a penchant for making you lose control and take you to the dance floor is looking for a fun-loving, the protagonist of an everlasting relationship.”
Do you understand my drift? Shine! Shine! Excite us! Give us the wow factor!
3) Don’t make clichéd statements.
Don’t start your profile with “I am …” statements. “I am beautiful, sexy, compassionate, honest, intelligent …” yes, yes … everyone says that. Have you ever read a profile that said, “I’m a loser, a drug addict, an unemployed bum sleeping on my mother’s couch”?
Tell us something about yourself that makes you different from others. “One of my passions is animal rescue and this summer our group is hosting the Basset Hound Olympics to raise money for his veterinary care.” Wow, doesn’t that tell someone how compassionate you are and how much you love doing charity work? Be specific. Actions speak louder than words.
Avoid “I like to work hard and play hard” or “I feel as comfortable in a dress as I do in jeans and a T-shirt.” How many times do you see those statements? “I enjoy good food.” (Who doesn’t?) “I’m independent.” (And does that mean …?) And for God’s sake, aren’t we all sick of “I like to take long walks on the beach” and that nauseating term “with that special someone”? (Forgive me while I die.)
4) Be convincing
Take a stand. Express an opinion. In this way, you will see yourself defined as a person to someone and will attract people who share your views and interests. “My idea of a great first date is to microwave crayons in the shapes of famous historical figures and then discuss socialism over a fine glass of port,” is more definitive than “I like to fool around and discuss the events of the day.” .
People like to meet people who know who they are. Show that you have something to contribute and that you can delay the end of the date or relationship.
5) Post a good, clear picture of yourself.
Smile. Don’t post a serious photo because you think it makes you look cool. It makes us wonder if he just got out of jail. Do not wear sunglasses. Don’t try to look or act cool. Look friendly, happy, approachable, and fun! Do not display gang signs or peace signs or turn the bird over. Leave your penis in your pants. We’ve seen them before and they aren’t all that and a bag of potato chips.
Post several photos, especially of you doing fun things that we might enjoy doing with you. Don’t put a picture of you and your ex. Do not put a photo with you and half of your ex has been cut out of the photo. Ladies, believe it or not, not all men like to see us with our dogs. * sigh * So include a photo of you and Bonster, but also add other photos. If a man doesn’t own a pet or loves his 23 cats, it will probably happen to you and fido.
6) Your username says a lot about who you are and what you are looking for.
If your username is “Young and Hung” or “Licking My Eyebrows” we know you are looking for booty calls and not a serious competitor for anything beyond a one night stand and you are probably expecting us to walk up to you and pick up. a pizza. in the path. We also know that you probably have a different girl every night, some illnesses are brewing, and an ax in the hall closet. REMOVE.
7) Be sincere and honest in what you are and what you are looking for.
Be honest about your age, weight, and height. Do not post photos older than a year or with brown hair if you just dyed it tomato red. When people see your photo and arrange to meet you, they expect to meet who they see in the photo. Anything else is misleading and disappointing. Don’t post a group photo. We cannot say who you are and we are not interested in meeting the group. We are interested in meeting you.
Don’t say you’re looking for a long-term relationship if you’re really looking for friends with benefits. One of the reasons I have so many options to choose from on profiles is so that people can really connect with people who are looking for the same things. If you’re married, separated, divorced, and a bit fragile and just want to test the waters, say so. “I just got out of a long-term situation and I just want to meet new people to have fun and chat and see how it goes for a while before I start thinking about something serious again.” People appreciate honesty and transparency. Show that you respect them and also show that you have a level of integrity with yourself.
8) Tell us who you are.
If you want to get someone’s attention, you need to put something on the hook before casting your line. No fish on earth will bite a clean hook. Few people will respond to a profile that has nothing or very little. Why should they when the next one they click on has a lot of information that they can read and connect to?
Talk about your hobbies and interests and convey your enthusiasm: “I like to skydive” is informative, but “There is nothing like nude skydiving to get your adrenaline pumping. There is something so exciting about plummeting 100 miles an hour. As Grandma follows me with her telescope that transcends spiritually, “it really gives us a clear idea of her passion for it.
9) Tell us what you do professionally.
Why is this important? Because it helps us visualize you at work doing what you do during the day and helps us connect with that image and with you. In addition, it defines who you are and helps us determine if we want to connect with you. If you are a butcher and the woman reading your profile is a member of PETA and a staunch vegetarian, why waste time emailing and chatting and then meeting up if you know in your heart that this will never work?
You can say, “I’m a student,” or you can say, “I’m in my third year of college studying marine biology. You haven’t seen anything in life until you see two starfish mating. It’s the most life-affirming.” on earth. When I finish school, my goal is to have a catfish farm in a small town in the southern Delta and export catfish to Dubai. “
Wow. I’m so there …
10) Be open. Be nice. Be accessible. Be funny.
Be someone someone else would like to get to know better. And express who you are through writing. Profiles are written. Not all are good writers, but this is the medium in which you are selling yourself. It is a visual medium. If you don’t write well but can express yourself by speaking, upload a 60-second video telling everyone who you are and what you’re looking for. Keep the video short. Famed Canadian award-winning filmmaker Mack Sennet said never have a joke longer than 90 seconds. The audience loses interest.
Be respectful. Think about what you write before writing it. “I like women with big butts” is not in any way flattering to any woman, even if she has a big ass. Do not be rude. Raw is gross. Rude women.
A well thought out and prepared profile with good photos will catch your eye. If it is obvious that you did not spend time on your profile, whoever sees it assumes that you are just a gamer and that you are not seriously looking to meet anyone and will close it. If you don’t take the time to complete your profile, why should someone take the time to respond? Nobody wants to respond to a gap or a profile that says “I’ll tell you later.” That’s like saying, “I have a secret and if I think you are worthy enough, I will share it with you.” (Skeeving again.) NEXT.
Write complete sentences. If your language skills are not that great, ask someone to help you express yourself in writing. If you can’t communicate who you are and what you’re looking for, no one will be interested.
You have to remember that there are millions of profiles on many dating sites. You are competing with all other profiles online. You have to see yourself as a product and undertake an ad campaign to get results. If you had to do a commercial for yourself and you had to produce a 60 second ad, what would you say? What would your main line be? You need an attention-grabbing beginning, a thoughtful, informative, and exciting medium, and a “close” ending.
The goal is to get answers. When you receive responses, you can decide with whom you want to continue communicating.
The bottom line is: if you are NOT getting responses online, it’s because your profile sucks. Even a profile without a picture will get a response if it is well written and forces someone to want to know more. Your profile is your business card. It’s your ad. It is your presentation of yourself to the online community. If you say nothing, offer nothing, then you will get nothing. And nothing is exactly what you can expect.